Keeping things in Perspective

Yesterday was a very busy day. Phone calls, meetings, scheduling appointments, life! I made it through and I'm thankful. My energy took a nose dive in the latter part of the evening because sometimes once you stop moving you realize how overwhelming things can be. I got some news yesterday that put me out of sorts, because yet again just when I though I was getting ahead a little nugget drops. From the universe to let me know otherwise. So as with most important decisions I think on it over some really strong coffee, ice cream or head straight for the comfort food. Yesterday's dilemma was a coffee level one. Money is the issue between a kid in private school, daily living expenses, and just a bunch of other things that require money I truly feel defeated and deflated. I don't earn enough money to keep myself afloat but I manage. I'm so tired of managing and working with less. Every day we are bombarded with stories of celebrities, or those with excess wealth and the things they spend their money on seem so trivial. After about 20 minutes of my 30 minute subway ride home last night I decided I need to take control and stop feeling sorry for myself. I grabbed some falafel on my walk home and there's a homeless man a along 2nd avenue I always see him but I've never given him anything. Last night I decided to, I walked over and put a $1 in his hand not the cup he was holding but in his hand. Here I am feeling like shit but I'm walking home to a nice but small and warm apartment. He looked at me and said thank you, then said that he always sees me but my face always looks intimidating and therefore he said to himself he would never ask me for money. He apologized for judging me without knowing me, he goes on to tell me that earlier that day he asked god to take him home because he knew killing himself would not get him into heaven. He goes on to tell me that I changed his perception and he now has hope. He has a lot of health problems and is only 51 years old . I can't say that I wasn't emotionally affected by that. It made me take stock in my life and want to work on the things I can change instead of feeling defeated by the things I can't.

Thank you Nathaniel

Goodnight,
The Diva